When the odds of winning the lottery are not enough

So in my ongoing quest to gain more money to pay off my debts and live a half decent life I have decided to join a lottery pool with the three other co-workers; for $2 every friday I give myself four chances at winning millions, unfortunately we are up against the rest of the country. Thankfully the population of Canada is not nearly the size of the US, but that means our jackpot is not the grandeur sweepstakes that is the US lotto, however for this same reason I have a better chance of winning than say, Ms.Jane Doe of Springfield, Illinois.

I realize of course that my chances of hitting the jackpot are are slim to none and that I am potentially wasting my pocket change (ok so loonies and toonies can amount to some decent cash if saved up, but that takes too long) and of course should the planets and stars align in my favour and I do get lucky, I still have to split my winnings amongst the three others; still, that adds up to a whole lot of loonies and toonies and hat would pay off my ever-growing credit cards bills, pay my rent and send me to school!
It's been suggested to me that I get a part-time job on the side, or be creative - well prostitution is out of the question and what the hell can I make that would gain me some padding in my wallet? Sure I am creative and can come up with some decent artwork if I can get past my perfectionist tendencies and actually finish what I start.
Fresh out of ideas, I figure gambling is my best bet(no pun intended). Loan sharks are hungry and looking for fresh blood according to the newspapers these days- people are going missing and they just so happen to be gamblers with more to lose than they are worth and apparently dial-a-dope crack dealers are making a KILLING! But see, crack dealers are slime balls and I would hate to be one of them - I just want money, I don't want to ruin people's lives in the process.

Apparently it's not just me who's out to strike it rich; even the old people are all lined up at the lotto kiosks in the mall, camping out at the food court tables scratching their lives away. This morning on the way to work I was reading the daily free crappy newspaper that everyone gets hit in the head with pushy vendors and after reading the Employment section I read more about high school drug pushers and the governments feeble attempts at dealing with payday-loan type businesses and the glories of being a loan shark here in this gambling addicted region. It was there on the third page in I read a short quip in the top right hand corner about two old bitties in California, who appeared to be frustrated at their own financial stresses and saw little chance of winning the US Jackpot, decided to kill a couple of homeless guys for a few million bucks. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? Brilliant.
Old people are not as sweet and delicate as they appear. These two old bags were a tag team and devised a plan to befriend two transients and convince them to be signed onto the old bitties insurance. After all was said and done and everyone was had by two old tricksters, the ladies then ran over both homeless persons, dragging them to their deaths. I'm sure this didn't all happen in one day, which makes it even more sick to think both women did not have the conscience or heart to feel badly for what they were doing and were about to do.
Needless to say, it didn't work. Both homeless persons are now dead and two old women are in the slammer with their big fat debts still haunting them.

Cross that plan off the list then, back to the drawing board.

* I will find out tomorrow for sure if I have won anything. In the meantime I am off for a weekend island getaway, a little fun in the sun with my sisters and cousins - the forecast calls for great fun to be had under the sun, should be a good time. We just hope the seagulls don't drop their loads on our tummies as we bake on the beach.