Fountain of Youth contained in an Ass's teet - who knew?

World's oldest woman, Maria Esther de Capovilla, dead at 116

Born on Sept. 14, 1889 - the same year as Charlie Chaplin and Adolf Hitler - Capovilla traced her lineage to Spanish nobility, but enjoyed drinking donkey milk in her youth.

Interesting. ( can someone please fill me in on the relevance of the above sentence? Spanish nobility, donkey milk - I says pardon?)

Yes, Mrs. de Capovilla was the world's oldest woman on record - remembering of course that there could very well be many other cryptkeepers like herself amongst us; back in the day everything was documented by chiseling into stone tablets, so it's not easy to produce the proper documents and identification to prove one's true age and not just the one when everyone forgot to keep count. "You're how old again Aunt Agnes?" "Who? ME? Bah, I been long and dead years ago, I just came for supper."

Hmm, I wonder if Mrs. de Capovilla would get carded at the liquor store....

Anyway, yes so obviously in getting with the times, wallets decreased in size to accomodate the new pocket size I.D. cards and the engraved stones were far too heavy to lug around in one's back pocket let alone to fit in a leather billfold or purse, and stone was a commodity back in the day too, I'm sure of it. Bartering was the way they did it back then, they traded donkeys for stone, and donkeys were expensive! And imagine what a pain in the ass ( ooops, hehehe pun intended) it would have been to bring your donkey in for some rock, only to have no donkey to drag it home for you? Yes, those were trying times. Now today, you can definitely barter a piece of your own ass for 'rock', in fact we have a name for it : CRACK HO.
But Mrs. de Capovilla was lucky. She didn't need to trade in her ass for rock, no her family could afford proper identification and she was fortunate enough to have been able to preserve it all these years. So what did she do with all her donkeys you might ask? She kept them for her cereal in the morning! How do you suppose she got so bloody old?