Don't touch my Keith's or I will have to kill you.

I knew this was going to happen. My roommate stole one of my beers. Roomie, who is eligible for the senior's discount, frequents the local beer and wine store far more than I do. Her beer of choice is Rickard's Red, and while I like that one I much prefer my Keith's. See? I even put a possessive in front it : MY Keith's. I love this beer, and I hate beer-moochers.

I hate to be the bad guy who shows up at a party or get-together without libation in tow. Sure it's offered, 'oh go and grab a beer from the fridge' but it's an unofficial one-time only invitation. After that, you risk your reputation, your own future beer stock and even possibly, your life.

It happened before - roomie snagged one of my beers without informing me or asking. I had gone into the fridge to grab it, only to find I was grabbing at thin air. I go and check the empties and inventory tells me I should have one left and before I could second guess myself whether I had already drank it, there Roomie stood in front of me with my beer in her hand . " Oh, I took your last beer, hope you don't mind."

heh. old bag.

What was I going to say ? I couldn't be so low and trivial and have a tantrum about my last beer. No, instead I remembered that the chances were good of her coming home the next day with a case, and I would swipe one without her knowing. Sure enough I did just that and she never said anything, but it would figure that it would backfire on me; now she has taken it upon herself to go ahead and take my beers in the future.

Tonight after I had come home I quietly snuck into the apartment and placed my case of bottles in the fridge ever so carefully without making a noise - they were still in the plain white plastic bag so not to give away the contents, tucked away safely near the back of the fridge on the bottom shelf.

Sure enough an hour later I heard a knock on my door, it was Roomie in her sickening syrupy sweet voice asking if she could have just ONE beer.

I stomped and jumped up and down and cursed under my breath and then composed myself " Sure! Go right ahead! I hope you like it!"

God I'm such a wimp.