Oct. 9th, 2004

I burned the coffee this morning. How do I manage to do stuff like that? I woke up, my throat begging me, practically choking me to get out of bed and go put on a pot of coffee. So I obeyed. Frustrated because making coffee meant that I had to take out the trash that someone else failed to do the night before- and it's raining outside. Spill the old wet grinds on the floor, and we all know how impossible it is to clean that stuff up. It gets everywhere, like sand from the beach when you are wearing pants rolled up to your knees and you attempt to dry your feet before putting your socks and shoes back on, with all the grains of sand stuck between your toes. You get home and unroll the bottoms of your pants, and the sand spills out like water from the Niagara Falls, like pieces of glass from a dropped plate, like a bag of dropped marbles. Years later you are still finding coffee grinds under the fridge.Coffee's finally on, I stumble up the stairs to the computer, happy to see that my yahoos from the Cafe are already awake and waiting. Such a nice way to start the day with warm words from what you have pictured in your heart and mind to be the fresh-scrubbed, friendly loving faces of your dear family on Christian Forums. Hours fly by, my life passed.A strange smell permeates the air a whole floor up. I recognize it instantly. I am reminded of walking into a Starbucks - burnt coffee beans. But it's ok....because my addiction has been replaced by something new that's offered in a cafe, the NEW CAFE that is...and that is the love of my friends here in CF.I am a clutz, things fall when I walk into a room, hence the name 'Calamity-Jane'. Some say I am like a 'Light' because people scatter like cockroaches when I enter the room. Thankfully, that's not the truth, they just don't want to get hurt.My name is Heather, and I am an addict in so many ways.