Nov. 26th, 2004

The Dreaded Christmas Advent Calendar

My family, namely us kids, partake in the christmas tradition of the chocolate Advent Calendar. Last night when I got home, I found one in my room lying on my bed, brand new in it's plastic wrap. Right away my first instinct was to throw that thing as far away as possible!! I curse that dreaded Advent calendar! I know, most people would think this bizarre - but you see, unless you suffer from a serious lack of willpower ( or 'don't-power, in my case) when it comes to chocolate like I do, then you will never understand what it is like to have a box full of chocolate at your disposal that CANNOT be opened until Dec.1....and after that only one window a day! That's cruel and unusual punishment! It's sick really.

And the problems don't just stop there. It's bad enough I can't touch this thing for another week but when I do get to rip that sucker open, it will be so unfulfilling. I remember when I was small, the calendars my mom used to buy for me looked the same - however, the difference was inside. You could actually see that it was Santa's head you were biting into, not just some molten piece of brown something-or-other that happens to have a chocolate taste to it. And wasn't the window for Dec.24th, the biggest one in the entire calendar??Not any longer- now it's almost as if your head is playing tricks on you " I could have sworn I just put a piece of chocolate in my mouth but now, a nano-second later, there's nothing there"And yet, I complain and complain and what do I do? I eat every piece of chocolate in those windows and continue to have this tradition carried on in my mouth and my family's mouth for many years to come, or until the bits of chocolate become so small it renders the calendar useless.

or I could pop every window open today and eat the evidence and act like I never saw the thing.