To me fair friend, you can never be old...

Nettie, my mother's best friend and strongest encourager in her battle against cancer, died this morning from her own fight; it was something we all expected was coming as her cancer had been in her life for several years, but even death draws faster than we can prepare for. After all the ups and downs of hopes and dreams and promises of new medicines to buy more time, the end has to come eventually - we just pray it never does.
I spent Thanksgiving dinner with Jeannette and her husband Marcus and his sister Lynne who came over from Scotland. Being Scottish both Marcus and Lynne have a great, quick-witted and biting sense of humour - and while Jeanette used to snort when she laughed, it took all she had that night to nod her head and grimace. And though looking at her reminded me of my mom the week that she died, a breathing skeleton with vacant eyes, she still had her fire because she got up on her own, unannounced to get the gravy started for dinner. Even with everyone trying to sit her back on the couch and take over she snapped back " You will screw it up!"
She even had a plate of dinner, with her hubby's Yorkshire puddings made the right way with two eggs and milk on the kitchen counter to warm to room temperature.

Marcus told the infamous "Marky and Nettie Love Story" after dinner. Though physically impossible with all the drugs in her system Jeanette seemed to have a glow come from within her as he shared their wild tale of true love. She sat there with her eyes closed as if listening to a bedtime story, and every once in a while she would open her eyes and look at her husband and give him a knowing, loving look. He told of how they met in the 70's - Jeanette was working at UBC and Marcus was working on the ships in Scotland; his brother was attending UBC at the time and was an acquaintance of Nettie's. On a short break from the ships, Marcus decided to come over to visit his brother and as it happened there was a party the next night. Of course Jeanette was there and according to Marcus, the moment he laid eyes on her when they were introduced it was like he was struck with a big arrow of certainty and was immediately high on the love drug. They were both in relationships with other people at the time but had both been so smitten with one another that they knew that no matter what the outcome was, they would have to be together. Marcus continued to tell us that they spent the next night together ( although no sex was had) and the next night (when the sex was had) Marcus asked Jeanette while they were taking a walk together "I know this sounds a bit insane especially considering we've only known eachother three days, but would you fancy getting married? Oh and could you let me know soon, my trip is coming up short and I've got to get back to the ships."
It wasn't until a little later on that night after Marcus had told us the story and everyone had gotten up to tidy up the dishes that Jeanette had mustered up the strength to tell me this : "Heather I didn't know much then or know what to think, but all I knew when I met Marcus and he asked me to marry him, that NO was not an option. "

I will miss Jeanette so much. Saying goodbye to her is like letting go another piece I had left of my mother - grief comes back again, though this time it is a little easier, and a little more bittersweet.

To me, Fair Friend, you can never be old,
For as you were when first your eye I ey'd,
Such seems your beauty still. - William Shakespeare