Before Her time

I can remember when 30 was old. I remember thinking our local nightclub had an 'older crowd', and now I am that older crowd. 30 isn't looking so old anymore.

My BFF (bestfriendforever) Courtenay and I went to that nightclub last weekend with my younger sister and her BFF - and we left around midnight. We felt overdressed, old and withered. When did it all happen? Where did the last 5 years go? I look around me and my friends are shopping for christmas presents for their husbands, wives and children. I don't feel my age - sometimes I wonder if it's all been a dream, like I stepped out of my own life for a breather and forgot to check back in.
Life is funny that way. It doesn't feel like that long ago that I last stopped to look at the flowers, but I know I've long forgotten what they smell like.

Courtenay's roommate Sherry passed away of cancer just the other week. She too was just in her 30's. I remember her cheerful disposition, all her fridge magnets proclaiming that we must be HAPPY and carry positive energy with us wherever we go lest life's trials drag us down. She tried her hardest to possess these auras, and even when she wore a scarf around her head to keep out the cold and when she went for her chemo treatments to ward off the breast cancer, she remained focused. When they declared her cancer-free, we were convinced those brightly coloured fridge decorations were on to something. She didn't lose sight that life can pass us by quickly if we don't take time to look at it, cherish it and hang on to any moment of it we can.

The cancer came back, but this time in her brain. I was still thinking magnetic thoughts, as I am sure Court was and we thought Sherry would win this too - she was after all the type of person who was meant to live her life in all its entirety, she was entitled to. But it was only a matter of weeks before it took her down - Sherry became blind, could not eat and eventually was unable to move. The night before she died, Courtenay, Brooke and I were talking about Sherry's condition and about possibly visiting with her. We talked about the quality of life Sherry would have in her condition and that it could be months still before it would take her - even then we still gave her a lifetime to live, because she was the type to pull through. She didn't. She died early the next morning.

The last time I saw Sherry was last Christmas at her Home Depot staff party. She came with makeup on, earrings and a bright festive scarf on her head. She was feeling great and getting better. Her hair was growing back and she was getting stronger, enough maybe to come back to work. I didn't see her again, instead I settled for updates on her condition, first positive and then rapidly getting worse again. Life passes us so damn quickly if we don't take the time to notice - I should have come to see you again and reminded you about your magnets.

Sherry, I hope you are still dancing on the tables wherever you are, shakin' your groove thang.